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  • A Girl of Many Fandoms

Dark Side of the Cerebellum: "Fandom Wank"

I feel like I'm going to relapse again, shut down.


After having gone months without an anxiety attack, I suddenly have TWO of them just last week. Ever since, my anxiety has skyrocketed and I often feel like crying with no obvious reason. I know a big part of it is personal stuff from the last couple weeks, but a good chunk of it...


Argh! Why can’t it be alright to enjoy a fandom without feeling guilty? Without being afraid of offending someone or a community or EVERYONE?! Because of all the fandom wank I don't even go into the tumblr tags anymore. Not that is matter since the wank will inevitably find me via my tumblr feed and every time it does—regardless of whether it’s legitimate or bullsh*t—it f**ks with my mind!!


DISCLAIMER: the following are NOT actual quotes, just extremely exaggerated examples.


"This ONE fictional character said this ONE word that is detrimental to feminism, so if you like this TV show that makes you a misogynist!"


"This actor is a racist because they made tiny offhand joke and, instead of politely informing said actor of the mistake they may have made accidentally, we're going to slander their name and spread misinformation about them online!"


"This fictional character looked at the homosexual fictional character funny! I think it was the stink eye, so this character must be homophobic! Instead of sending a letter to the TV show informing them of my concerns, I'm going to continue assuming the worst and write hateful posts about how the show glorifies homophobia through said fictional character. I’ll make sure to publish said posts where the fans of said fictional character gather so they can finally learn the truth! And if they cry, bonus!"


"Here's an essay clearly presenting my argument that this TV show is guilty of promoting *insert one or more problematic themes here: racism/sexism/homophobia/etc.*. I’ve cited all of my credible sources, which include quotes from the writers, original drafts of script, transcribed scenes from the show, etc. My case is legitimate and is in no way meant to make you feel like a tool for enjoying this TV show but... You're a tool."


I'm not an educated person, and I'm not an intellectual, but I am aware that there are a LOT of valid problems in ALL forms of media today.


A LOT.


But am I a bad person if I, being human, occasionally fail to identify a piece of problematic content that I come across?


Am I a bad person for thinking that some—not all, just some—of the calm and legitimate fandom wank is an overreaction and/or just plain unhelpful?


Am I a bad person because I sometimes—not always, just sometimes—shrug off the problematic aspect of a piece of content because the context explicitly identifies the problematic content and deals with it accordingly? Or sometimes—not always, just sometimes—because the context is so ridiculous that it clearly has no basis in fact/reality ( or should I be worried about the stupid kids who take it to heart )?


Am I a bad person if I think that the some—not all, just some—of the fans are sometimes—not always, just sometimes—handling the offensive material by being worse than the material in question?


Am I a bad person if I still love a fandom after learning for a fact that one ( or more ) of the creators is a truly horrible person, a fact that I acknowledge and will never deny?


Am I a bad person for just wanting to lose myself in a story, to take a vacation from reality?


Am I a bad person for wanting to interact with people with the same passions as mine just ONCE without being made to feel like a malevolent, morally bankrupt, socially insensitive, brainless, pathetic excuse for a human being?


Just once... Please?


#rant #darksideofthecerebellum #fandomwank #troll #trolls #internettroll #internettrolls #onlinetroll #onlinetrolls #censoredfbombs

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