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  • A Girl of Many Fandoms

Fandom "Reviews": Xena... The Original Miss Congeniality?!

Updated: May 26, 2020

-->> 2000 <<--

"An F.B.I. Agent must go undercover in the Miss United States Pageant to prevent a group from bombing the event.”

"Xena: Warrior Princess" Season 2, Episode 11:

"Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis"

-->> 1997 <<--

“A fragile peace may be derailed by behind-the-scenes mayhem at a beauty pageant, in which the rulers of all three former enemies have entered their girlfriends as contestants.”

I was surprised at how great this episode was.



Sal: Xena! I was just talking about you... sort of. Xena: Beauty contest? You sent urgent word for us to come and see some under-dressed, over-developed bimbos in a beauty contest? Sal: Pageant. It’s called a pageant. Gabrielle: Contest, pageant. It’s a feeble excuse for men to exploit and degrade women. Sal: Wrong as usual, Miss Sunshine. Since when do we ever NEED an excuse? Gabrielle: Hmm.

Xena: Looking for this? Now, I want some straight answers.

Miss Artifice: Have you got the wrong girl! Miss Artifice: OK, OK, I was just kidding. Where’s your sense of humor?

Xena: Gee, I guess I must have sweated it out. Is that your idea of funny, too?

Miss Artifice: I was just trying to scare you.

Xena: Why’d you want to scare me?

Miss Artifice: Because I knew you knew. You know, about me. And I didn’t want you to tell anyone. But when I came back to unlock the door, you had already gone.

Xena: What made you think I’d tell?

Miss Artifice: You really don’t get it, do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t. This is a chance to use a part of me most people usually laugh at, or worse. The part I usually have to hide... Only here that part works for me, you see?

Xena: I think so.

Miss Artifice: Look. I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry I got you steamed. I just hope you let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.

Xena: No way.

Xena: May the best person win.

Sponsor Pal: I told mine I don’t care if she wins. I just don’t want her to lose.

Gabrielle: Very understanding.

Sponsor Doge: Why, what’d you tell yours?

Gabrielle: I do not tell her anything. We are a team. I ask.

Sponsor Pal: Yeah, right! One more incident, I’m bringing in my troops.

Sponsor Regent: That makes two of us.

Sponsor Doge: Marquesa.