Fandom "Reviews": A Girl Catches Up on her Comics! (NEW AND IMPROVED)
Updated: May 30
Stormwatch (New 52) and Young Avengers (Style>Substance)
[[ Disclaimer: This is a repost of a post from December 2013, but I have completely overhauled over the past week in July 2017. I hope you enjoy. ]]
All screen caps are from my copies of the featured comics. :D Spoilers (with angry swearing and happy fangirling) in the looonnnggg illustrated post below the cut:
Yesterday I was tidying up my room and found a stack of new comics I haven't read yet so... I read them. XD I started by catching up on DC Comics’ New 52: Stormwatch. When I first heard that there would be a ‘New 52′ reboot I was scared that my favorite characters, Apollo and Midnighter, and—more importantly—their CANON RELATIONSHIP would be ruined a third time (ruined for me personally, not officially... I don’t think.) But from what I have read up until now I was surprisingly pleased with it, with two exceptions:
1) Almost every other issue you have to get a crossover issue from another series. It’s so frustrating and an obvious money-grubbing ploy on DC’s part. HOWEVER, the 'NEW 52: Red Lanterns' issue #10 crossover issue was worth getting just for this single page:
2) And Midnighter's ridiculous chin spike:
Why is this guy sporting a spike on his chin? I mean, if he looks down he maims himself—possibly kills himself—and since his specialty is hand to hand combat he is 100% going look down. He also has the special ability to process every possible combat scenario so he can essentially predict every single move his opponent will make and knows how to counter every one of those moves perfectly, so how does he not see the danger this thing poses to himself? Also, it likes to wander off sometimes, apparently. For example, in issue #6:
"Continuity error is a mood killer," Mistina says, as if it's supposed to be funny. I know it’s not just me because Apollo makes fun of it in the comic. It’s freaking CANON! ... The ridiculousness of the chin spike, not its meandering ways. ^^;; Speaking of, how is Midnighter supposed to kiss Apollo with that on his chin—
”Mexico. My left arm broken, my right with three bullets and two knife wounds.” ”I’d lost two pints of blood and even I wasn’t healing fast enough.” ”The one with crazy eyes was going to cut my throat.” ”And he would have...”
I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah! So I picked up where I left off so I started with issue #13 and OH MY GOD I have officially fallen in love new Apollo and Midnighter!!!
These are only a small sample of them being so disgustingly adorable AND bamfs as of issue 13+, but they are like this in each and every issue of this story arc!!!
( tangent a.k.a. a mini rant: Where was ALL OF THIS casual Apollo/Midnighter relationship interaction in Midnighter’s solo run? From platonic to romantic, from badass to schmoopy, where were they? Midnighter was the first openly gay super hero to get his own solo series yet they completely omitted his husband from the story lines?! The exceptions being the two—TWO?!—teeny tiny appearances and one ALTERNATE UNIVERSE ( translation: NOT CANON ) romance issue.
This was strike two, for me. In case anyone was counting. What was strike one? Keep reading to find out. :P )
I am incredibly frustrated that the Engineer went psycho ( It wasn't bad enough that she was overtly sexualized. Nooo... Gotta make her even more of a two dimensional—irony—by turning her into a psychotic super villain too. -_-;; ) and this story arc definitely needed more of Hawksmoor and Jenny... But look at how this story arc ends!!!!
<3 <3 <3
Now that I'm COMPLETELY in love with the New 52 Apollo and Midnighter I reach for the next issue and find...
”Stormwatch is... Dead?” No... They wouldn’t...
"Reset?” No, that can’t mean what I think it means... Right?
THEY REBOOTED THE F**KING REBOOT WITHIN THE F**KING REBOOT!!!
*tries to give it a chance but the art really really sucks*
*bangs head against wall*
Three strikes and you're out, DC COMICS!
I gave you OH so many chances to redeem yourselves as a company—too many, as it turns out—by only taking into consideration your actions regarding only ONE of your many MANY titles: 'Stormwatch/the Authority' and you couldn't even meet that ludicrously low bar?! I mean, I gave you a pass on soooo many blunders, so many I can barely count! Here's a small sampling of the ones I can remember:
the New 52 Reboot universe -> Firstly they were inconsistent: with some series being restarted as promised, others, like Green Lantern for example, continued on from... who knows which issues! -> Secondly they were crossing over every series with every other series about... Oh, I don't know? Every second issue! Clearly an attempt to force the reader into buying ALL new issues from ALL the series if, you know, you want to know what the Hell's going on! >.< -> Thirdly, they promised the return of 'Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld' but the series wasn't rebooted. In fact, the protagonist was merely FEATURED in one of the the many selectively rebooted series: the New 52 'Sword of Sorcery: Featuring Amethyst'. I gave up after the first issue because not only did the story end with John Constantine coming on the scene (clearly to take the lead), but she only got HALF the pages of the issue, the second half was dedicated to an unrelated story about Beowolf or something. WTF?! They couldn't be bothered to give her a complete issue?! I later learned that the 'Sword of Sorcery' series was originally a Wonder Woman Origins prequel, so what the Hell is John Constantine even doing there, much less Amethyst?!
the so-called "Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld" TV show -> 7 episodes, each about 1 minute long... Wow, thanks. That be mighty generous of you... T_T
the "Break into Comics with Harley Quinn" contest fiasco* -> Way too much to explain here, which is saying a lot considering the detail I went into with the New 52 reboot blunders above, am I right? Links will be at the end of the post.
the constant Rebooting of the SAME TWO Movie Franchises over and over AND over... -> You know the two I'm talking about. You know.
? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! What about the f**k ups I didn't even know about?!
? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !
Why do I keep coming back when I know they're just going to obliterate my heart?
Save me, Young Avengers!
I was skeptical about the new run for Young Avengers too, though for different reasons. Mainly the new hairstyles for Billy and Teddy I saw in in preview pics:
It's way too teen idol for me. Reminds me of Bieber or One Direction or... Point is, I was worried they were going to push a very common, more flamboyant, gay stereotype on me like DC Comics did in the Authority starting around issue #29.
( tangent a.k.a. a mini rant: Midnighter should never ever EVER wear white. Ever. I mean, kudos to DC Comics gets kudos for having the first gay wedding in comic book history—good for them!—but I found the execution to be forced and bland… Ugh! How do I explain?
Apollo and Midnighter's relationship was EFFORTLESS! Their identities were NOT confined exclusively to their sexuality. In point of fact, their sexual orientation was treated just like any other personal characteristic such as one's hair color or date of birth. Likewise, their narratives were NOT dictated by their sexual orientation. What's more, the influence was little to none, just as it should be what with them being in the superhero genre. NONETHELESS, their love for one another was undeniable and beautiful. Basically, they were treated just like any heterosexual couple. EQUALITY, FTW! That is, until Apollo and Midnighter's creator moved onto a new project and was replaced by some new guy who didn't know what to do with our boys. From his work in 'The Authority', I'm guessing that he either found or wrote the mythical textbook of the homosexual nuclear family. A compendium of all currently ‘socially accepted representation in media’ gay tropes/stereotypes/conventions/etc. A book he followed to the letter which resulted in... in Midnighter getting married wearing... white. *gag* >.< This was strike one, for me. >.< )
Getting the issues I spied the title and I got really scared:
I was like 'F**k no!' but I really love Young Avengers and so I read on. It took me a while to warm up to this story arc but it has most definitely won me over. :)
• With its very creative and diverse styles in the comic’s paneling...
• Amazingly drawn facial expressions...
^ Teen Loki is so based on the actor who portrayed him in the films, Tom Hiddleston. XD
^ this eye roll is amazing! The woman is creepy though... ^^;;
• The perfect amount and well placed bits of humor to break up the drama. For example, we have our boys showing off their geeky side...
...an Asgardian cameo where they shrug off a UNIVERSAL catastrophe of INTER-DIMENSIONAL proportions simply as the “follies of youth”...
...a dramatic reveal that Billy is THE MESSIAH by these cute little aliens. XD ( Hey. I warned you there'd be spoilers. XP )
• SO. MUCH. BILLY X TEDDY!!!
• I love how Teddy is Prince Charming but in this story arc he's the one who needs to be rescued over and over and over...
• And, finally, the cherry on top...
“You know, she's sent tempting visions before. Trying to get me to leave the circle. Tried you too, but couldn't get the details right. How are you here?” “Loki's magic. He got it back when he confessed. He was manipulating us all along, it seems.“ “So you think he was lying about us?“ “I don't care if he was lying. We’re not.”
“Oh, Ugh. Is love really going to save us all?“ ”Of course it is. Anyone who thinks otherwise gets stomped into paste.”
God Bless America (Chavez) and God Bless TRUE GAY LOVE SAVING THE UNIVERSE!!! MARVEL IS NUMBER 1! MARVEL IS NUMBER 1! MARVEL IS NUMBER 1!!!! <3 <3 <3
* the "Break into Comics with Harley Quinn" contest fiasco
Original Contest Guidelines (conveniently deleted)
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